Whether you’re living independently in an apartment for the first time, hitting the dorm for college, or even expecting a relative or sibling to move in, you may be in for your first experience with a roommate. Oftentimes these are wonderful adventures; other times, they can feel like a layer of Hell on earth.

Either way, they do provide great learning experiences, and there are things you can do to help make the situation easier on everyone involved—including yourself! Here are a few tips for surviving with a roommate.

• Be respectful—and expect respect. Don’t use each other’s things without permission, take messages if someone calls and you answer the phone (otherwise invest in an answering machine or voicemail), pick up after yourself, and generally treat your roomie the same way you’d like to be treated.
• Keep communication lines open. This one cannot be stressed enough! I have had so many roommate problems that could have been neatly nipped in the bud at first sight if we had simply talked about them rather than letting them fester and making us more and more annoyed with each other. If you’re afraid of having an argument—or you’ve been arguing—see if you can enlist the help of a third party, such as a resident advisor, to serve as a mediator.
• Keep sleep time sacred. Establish hours of quiet that are to be observed at all times so you can both get a good night’s rest or study.
• Keep food sacred. If you’re a student or on your own for the first time, chances are you don’t have a whole lot of money to blow on your chow. Your roomie is probably in the same boat. Don’t throw out food without asking him or her—though be sure to tell them if you see mold that they’ve apparently missed!—and definitely don’t eat his or her grub without asking first.
• That said, share resources—and chores. If you both use paper towels, toilet paper, Kleenex and other items, take turns stocking up on them to keep it fair. To keep chores fair, create a system where everyone has a job to do. This can be rotated, but if one of you loves to sweep and the other enjoys scrubbing the shower, by all means keep the ones you like. Just be sure to discuss it together first—don’t just “assign” tasks to your roommate.